The Mystic Rose – A Life Experience
A new summer retreat – The Heart of the Mystic – with Vasant Swaha will be happening soon, in the mountains of Norway. Once more we will have the opportunity to dive into ourselves, cleaning the layers that separate us from our true essence. In this retreat we will have the unique chance to take part in the Mystic Rose – a 3 weeks process created by Osho.
In April 2015 in Brazil, we also had this process and after the retreat, with my heart full of joy, gratitude and a silent presence, nourished by sitting with the Master for a month, I wrote this text about my experience in Mystic Rose.
There were 83 people together for 3 hours a day, crossing the barriers of two deeply suppressed layers inside of us – laughter and crying. Only by trust in the Master could we dive into this simple, yet powerful recipe, and open up for the miracle of Life.
Laughing at oneself
In the first week, for 3 hours every day, we had to laugh, for no reason at all, digging to find the laughter inside. All that was hindering my real laughter was at risk – the images about myself, all the beliefs, all the stories, all the thoughts, the sensations, feelings. Everything was an excuse for me to find a good, releasing laughter. At one point there was no mind anymore to interfere, only laughter.
I found a point inside to ignite this living energy of laughter. It was a moment where all my cells were laughing and I felt so open for the life energy, feeling as I was making love with the whole universe. How to explain such feeling, such joy?
A dam was broken
The second week was all about tears. For me to cry was always an issue. Actually when I was a little girl I use to have “crises” of uncontrollable crying, sometimes for small reasons. I don’t remember when and what had happened that at one point I had to “cut off” this crying and become the strong one. Since then it has not been so easy for me to cry. But somehow in this week, as Osho says, a dam was broken, and the tears came from different places: from known pains from recent and not so recent past, frustrations, heart broken stories; also from the unknown hidden pain of losing a beloved partner – a pain that I felt was already cured. I cried and I felt happy for that, as I knew I was getting freer. The pain started to give space for a pure sensibility, vulnerability without reason – just for being human, just for this fragility of life.
To be in the Temple that week, with so many brothers and sisters weeping their pain, or joy, or gratitude was so beautiful, as we were devoting all those tears for the healing of the planet, for the whole humanity. I can’t forget that sensation of beauty, coziness and protection.
A beautiful sensitive flower was sprouting and getting roots in my heart.
Silent shining Buddhas
The third week was the time to sit, to watch, to just be. My Master used to say “Sitting, doing nothing, and the spring comes by itself”.
We used to sit for 45 minutes, then bringing the awareness in a soft dance for 15 min; then repeating this cycle 2 more times. The Temple was pregnant with a presence difficult to describe. I had a beautiful vision opening my eyes in a moment: I saw a group of silent shining Buddhas sitting together. So peaceful.
Every sitting was an invitation to just be and I felt so excited for this meeting. My mind was much quieter – the thoughts falling with no effort into emptiness. The lake of my Being was getting clear and transparent, ready to quench my thirst.
I remembered in a moment a saying from the mystic Papaji: “Don’t stir a thought”. He didn’t say don’t think, he said don’t stir a thought. For the first time I really understood his meaning. Thoughts come from no-where, but if we don’t stir them, they disappear again in the vastness of our being.
During that week, a peace descended on me and I can’t really measure when or how this simple realization came to me: “I am this space”!
Change of the Gestalt
I’ve been exploring the path of meditation for almost 20 years. In this incredible journey I had experienced many times what we call the “space” of being, of silence, of bliss, of love, of consciousness. Also many times, I felt the pain of feeling that I was loosing the contact with this space, going back to what I know as myself, my ordinary way of functioning. This time, a new understanding took me down to a very simple, obvious insight: my real self is the vastness of silence, of the Heart. I am this vast space. Simple as that.
This crystal clear realization came to me not as an intellectual realization. What normally used to come as a “beloved visitor”, a distant loving friend, started to be very familiar and close. As the Master says: it’s closer than the close. It’s my own being! That changed the whole gestalt. What before I used to recognize as what I am – all the thoughts, the ways of functioning, all my believes, desires and needs – started to give space to something else. Something impossible to name. – the source of what I recognize as my-self.
I can feel the presence of this new understanding surrounding me, reminding me in my day-to-day life, even when I get lost in habits, stories and thoughts, that I am not that. Now I know, by my own experience, that I can connect with the real at any time – it’s here, available, waiting for me.
The mystic rose is sprouting in my Heart and to watch and nourish it is the best thing one can do.
Only by the grace of the Beloved can such a miracle happen!
Eternal gratitude Beloved Babaji.
Sana is a devotee of Vasant Swaha, enjoying and exploring the way back to her true nature. She loves to share herself through Integration Craniossacral sessions and workshops of meditations. Living closer to nature is her biggest joy.