Tonight it came to me
A bolt of light striking in the eternal emptiness that is my consciousness
Sun shining on the feet of the first man walking earth
Breathing wind spreading the leaves of the green jungle,
to a symphony with birdsongs, coconuts and delicious fruit
The lion’s roar, orange as the sunrise and red power, I am here and this is my kingdom
Shining with calm steps or running for pleasure
My head is the sun, growing and burning
Water screams against magma
I am both, and both is needed
Forging you, the ants building labyrinths, entwined patterns in your skin with other bugs
carrying the tiniest twig all the way across the world
Before I blow it away
I grab a handful of soil
falling in love as it transforms to jewels
to bite an apple
And watch the spider forming a web, mechanical and yet with vast passion
As the morning fog meets sunlight shaping water drops to stars in patterns
And there, here it is
for a moment the web of the galaxy
And there are you, little blue
Aligned with the other planets in waltz with the sun
Spinning mass in nothingness being somethingness beyond expression
Perfectly calculated blowing a gentle breeze to my skin
Emptiness is within
A flower grows from it
The pleasure too overwhelming
A wish to share who I am
Last retreat at Dharma Mountain Leena asked me if I wanted to write some words, expressing what my decision to come out with my sannyas meant to me. For a long time I carried the question with me, unable to answer. Now and then different answers came, but soon after they wouldn’t feel truthful. It was like I was expressing something superficial, not being able to touch the substance of it. Like the substance of it was not something I could not express with explanatory sentences. I was about to give up the idea, knowing I couldn’t force it.
One night I was unable to sleep, feeling like the lights were switched on inside whenever I closed my eyes.
I jumped out of bed. I had no idea what to write; the mood I was in was too energetic and spontaneous to even want to think about explaining. Instead it felt more natural for me to write in a way, similar to painting images, with the same feeling as I felt in that moment. Finally it was as if I could touch the core of what i really wanted to share, my excitement of life.
“…letting something go is just as significant as picking something up, perhaps even more. And the habit of holding on is stopping flow and connection with life.”
It was the first time I felt this much in tune with my own words and flow, like I had been screaming gibberish for hours and what was left was clear as ice, reflecting images of my subconscious. As if I finally understood something I had been missing, in writing and everything. That letting something go is just as significant as picking something up, perhaps even more so. And the habit of holding on is stopping flow and connection with life. I feel that an opening is happening, and the wish to share.
Thank you Vasant Swaha.
With love Samara
My name is Samara. I enjoy to express myself in many ways, both in arts, music and sports. Venturing into the unknown excites me, and I love when I am able to surprise myself. Arts support me to fall in tune with my own body, flow and creativity. And most importantly to be in tune with the moment and have fun!
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