Sadhna shares how her song “White Swan” came to be, and how it lead her to her master, Vasant Swaha.
“Hvite Svane” – or “White Swan” in English, is a song of great significance to me.
It came together with a deep longing for my master. I didn’t know about him yet, I had been searching in many ways and I was confused. But my heart was whispering something, and it came into this song. Singing it made it clear to me that I had to be honest and true to myself, I was not satisfied where I was at.
After meeting with a dear friend who had been around Swahaji for many years, it was set, my heart was clearly telling me to just go, go, go.
It was simply amazing how this love gave me the courage to just pack my bag and leave everything, that which had felt so difficult. I went to Brasil for the first retreat with Swaha, and it changed my life completely. Completely. It is a blessing impossible to put into words.
“You have to understand that when you are on earth, then you are already in heaven. No other place exists” , the angel said to the human.
In the time after the retreat I was inspired to pick up and rewrite the song. It was a winter night, after having watched the movie “I et speil, i en gåte”, based on the novel by Jostein Gaarder. The theme, the characters and what they were experiencing and expressing really touched me. Again I felt the vulnerability, beauty and magic of life and death. With the serenity of the winter night embracing me. With Babaji (another name for Swaha, ed. note) in my heart. I had to grab the pen and paper and wrote and wept. Beauty tears. Those tears that feel like nectar to the soul.
“An offering of songs”
In the next retreat in Brasil, we were invited to share something from our hearts in the Gitanjali day. Gitanjali can be translated to “an offering of songs”, and this gathering was a way of expressing and giving thanks to all the beauty we received from our master, from existence and our hearts.
I felt that I had to share “Hvite Svane”, even if I was very nervous. I had never shared any of my own writings, and just to share my voice with others was an utterly vulnerable case. I was so shy, sensitive and insecure. But I had to share it, my heart said so.
Little did I know that this song was to be sung in Satsang, to my beloved master. In that moment I felt so much support to go on singing, Swaha really helped me to move through the barriers I had, that insecurity that had held me away from doing what I truly love.
And with this support, the inspiration expanded into more poems and songs. It expanded into my first concert, in the Mukti Gathering, where this video is from.
Singing in the forest temple was such a gift, such a gift to be there doing what I love in the place where my master is sharing himself. I am so grateful that I was granted this opportunity to come out from my hiding place and feel how it is when we share our gift in a loving environment with sweet friends.
Now I am continuing this offering of songs. With so much gratitude and respect to my master and all those friends that supported my in the unfolding – and it is till unfolding- of the Song.
Sadhna lives in Hedalen, Norway. She loves arts and beauty and enjoys exploring different ways of flowing and expressing it.
NEXT MUKTI: Check out the next Mukti – Music & Mantra weekend at Dharma Mountain 13-15 January.