An interview with Aziza Noguchi – director and founder of IQD  – the Institute of Dynamic Stillness in Brazil, teacher and Cranio-Sacral Integration Therapist.

«It is not my doing», she says, «it is just Grace». Aziza’s eyes glow when she talks about her work. Or maybe it is more accurate to call it her life, than her «work». 

The Health
We often use the word «health» to mean «not sick» or to not have any bodily problems. In the Cranio-Sacral Integration approach, «health» is used in a different way.

Let´s say a person with a chronic disease is dying, Aziza explains, There is no way that the person will recover the health in the sense that he will not die. So, how to die in a healthy way?

This is the most extreme example. The disease is there. Death is coming. But still the person can feel their Health and their perfection – and go peacefully through the transition. Being connected with that «something» which never dies. With that «something» which was always there.

This is our possibility all the time. We don´t have to be dying to experience it. This is what we are offering. How to feel your perfection and your possibility to live your life in this moment, whatever your organism is going through. Whatever disease or symptom is there, whatever you feel or meet – Health is always there, supporting everything.

Health is what is holding all dualities. Health is sometimes even creating an imbalance so that the organism can function in the best way. Sometimes disease is a way of giving balance to a person.

In this case, maybe something else first needs to be supported in that organism. Afterwards, maybe the disease can be resolved.

How does Cranio-Sacral Integration therapy work?
Clinical results in Cranio-Sacral Integration therapy come from learning how to cooperate with the biodynamic/embryological forces. This brings a very deep balance and health, because it reconnects the client with the original matrix of the Health – which is perfect. The Health is always there, regardless of the condition of the client.

To communicate with it, we need to be neutral and develop a perceptual skill – being able to see and feel the original matrix, and the perfection of it, through our senses.

That is what this training is about – we learn how to bring our perceptual senses back to the original Health, learning to recognize and support these forces at work.

The biodynamic forces which create the embryo and which keep the Health in the embryo – are not something the embryo does. It is just a happening.

We learn how to observe, to communicate with, and to perceive this happening. This takes a very deep sensing, listening and seeing – a perceptual skill that is unveiled during the work with those forces.

“We recognize where the healing forces are coming from, and we bring our attention to that source, instead of to the conflict/problem. From that source the best resolutions will come.”

 

Where we have our attention
So it is not going against any symptoms, Aziza shares, it is not seeing any disease as something bad: «let´s get rid of that», «I don´t want to feel this». It is an acknowledging of what is – and then bringing the attention to the Health, instead of to the conflict.

We bring the attention to co-operate with the best part of us.

When we first taste this, we start to bring this awareness into everything, into our lives: Where is my attention? Is it in the positive, or in the negative?

Is my mind still in the duality, or can I go into that which holds the duality – without any conflict at all?

We recognize where the healing forces are coming from, and we bring our attention to that source, instead of to the conflict/problem. From that source the best resolutions will come.

It’s not a doing
Whatever comes is a gift, says Aziza. The healing that happens is not our doing. Even the courses I am teaching are not my doing. I cannot take any credit for it. That makes everything very special.

It is a paradox. Because it is such a big thing, and it is not our doing. So what can I say? When we realize this, it makes the work even more special.

I think it will be wonderful to be in an energy field with so much love, that´s all that we need, right?

Coming to Dharma Mountain
For the first time, training in Cranio-Sacral Integration Therapy is happening at Dharma Mountain, Norway. The training is in 5 modules, and the first, called «Finding the Health», starts in August. Aziza is excited to come to Dharma Mountain to share her work. I think it will be wonderful to be in an energy field with so much love, she says, that´s all that we need, right? We can just inhale the atmosphere, or we can bring another dimension it, more of a healing aspect. Everything is there already. This is just another door.

Cranio-Sacral Integration Therapy is about the anatomy, physiology, and the healing forces. Everybody is already in contact with this. In the training we simply learn to recognize it better.

Aziza is very humble, and very grateful to be able to share this work – to have this as her life.

Through meetings with some teachers and masters I could find true Health, she says; That is my blessed job – to help others in that direction as well.

Interview and photo of nature by Savini Aspholt

Savini has been involved in the work around Swaha’s retreats for many years.
She enjoys writing and photography, and loves to dive into the depths of her own soul and of the forest.

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More about Aziza, her path and Biodynamic Osteopathy:
Aziza works in the cities of Florionapolis and Sao Paulo, Brazil. Here she runs clinics giving treatments to children in need, at a very low cost. It is her passion to work with them, and one of her main specializations is working with autistic children.

The results of her training courses are spreading in Brazil. It has been used with very good results in one of the main hospitals in Latin America – Hospital das Clinicas in Sao Paulo, in the treatment of psychiatric patients. It is used in hospitals in Florianopolis, in many institutions & private clinics and in a non-governmental organization for children with special needs.

Finding her way
As a young adult, Aziza worked for five years as a dentist in Brazil.

In truth, she was not happy with her life nor with her work – nor with the conventional patterns of relating. She felt an urge to help people, not only on the physical level, but in their totality as human beings. Her father had died when she was 12 years old. In the time since then, questions about life & death, and a deeper perception of life, had been strong in her.

Aziza understood that to be able to help others, she first had to help herself.

This call brought her on a personal and spiritual journey which led her to travel to India, to Osho´s ashram in Pune. Here, she found her spiritual womb.

As she express it herself; «Aziza was born – a meditation-lover with pleasure to study and appreciate the mystery of the human body».

She ended up staying in India for ten years.

It was in the ashram in Pune, in 1993, that she participated in her first craniosacral balancing training. She started to give sessions, to assist in the courses and workshops – and later to teach workshops herself. In 1997 she started to come back to Brazil, giving courses.In 2004 she started to give her first complete training there.

For many years Aziza went on looking for more guidance, studying with different cranio-sacral schools and teachers around the world. She created a unique curriculum and founded the Institute of Dynamic Stillness in Brazil, alongside the Association which supports this work.

As the years passed, she still felt that something was missing in her way of treating clients and teaching students. Then she met Dr James Jealous, an American Osteopath, and creator of Biodynamic Ostheopathy.

Finding her teacher
Coming to Dr James Jealous for the first time in 2006, Aziza quickly realized that his teaching was very different from all the others teachers she had met before. (see below)

Dr James Jealous gave her permission to go on teaching in her Institute in Brazil, based on the Principles of Biodynamic Osteopathy rather than the biomechanical approach she had previously taught. She developed her own training, so that people without a medical background can learn to work successfuly, based on the principles of Dr James Jealous, who only teaches MD’s, Osteopaths and Dentists.

What is biodynamic Osteopathy?
The Principles of Biodynamic Osteopathy envisioned by Dr James Jealous, rescue the traditional principles from Dr Still, creator of the Osteopathy medicine and the final work of Dr Sutherland, creator of the Cranial Osteopathy, together with the study of embryology from Erich Blechschmidt.

Jealous’s concept of “the embryo” as ever present in the living organism is a key of Biodynamic Osteopathy. The embryo, as an archetype of perfect form, serves as a blueprint for our body’s ability to heal itself. The forces of embryogenesis become the forces of healing after birth.

www.jamesjealous.com for more information

Read more about the training that is happening 29th August – 2nd September at Dharma Mountain here.

Is your relationship with food mental?

Thinking about all the opinions – what we’ve heard, past experiences which may not be relevant to our bodies today. This can make the act of eating tense and difficult. Everything is so much more complex than we can ever figure out! Even our scientific discoveries are simplistic, dissecting everything into observable fragments. When I start to think about it, it’s really hard to know what to eat anymore.

So I want to start feeling more than knowing. I want to become more present and guided by my intuition. To remember the whole of me – fear and obsessive thinking can poison me far more than what I eat.

And when I’m happy, relaxed and grateful for the sustenance of the earth, it feels like whatever I’m eating is fit for gods.

Deva Dasha lives in Norway in a patch of mystical mountains populated with nature spirits, dwarves and moose. Her interests include smelling, laughing, loving and being sensitive with an open heart. She wishes peace to all beings in the universe.

How to jump into the flow of writing

Writing doesnt need to be a lonely affair.

Some friends who like to write met one evening in my house. We decided that each one should prepare one task on what to write about.

We started out with free writing for five minutes, to get the words flowing and empty out.

The rules for this teqnique are very simple:

• Dont think.

• Dont stop. Keep that hand moving.

• Dont look at what you write, while you are writing.

• Dont hold back.

• And when you touch something that burns inside, go there.
We read out loud what we had written. We gave feedback if we felt to.

One had prepared words on small pieces of paper. We picked words and used them as a starter for poems.

I am amazed of how much came out of this evening, writing together. I am happy to share some of the poems that came:

(they are in Norwegian… so if you don’t understand – then you just jump and write yourself :-)) 

Hunden som snakka seier ingenting etterpå

Hunden som snakka

seier ingenting etterpå.

listar seg framfor alle.

Tilbake søv katten bak stolen

I dag.

Og brødet går seg vill

mellom koppar og kar på bordet.

Kvar vår lukkar ho døra innst

Under sofaen

Og gøymer seg der

Vel eit år.

(Pracheeta)

Daude ord

Ord, seier du.

Ord som skal falla ned på papiret mitt som lauv, seier du.

Dei fell vel ikkje ned, orda, dei vert skrivne ned dei,

av pennen her i handa mi.

Ord, seier du, som skal forma seg til setningar,

til forståelege setningar med samanheng og ei meining.

Skal seie deg det, det er inga meining.

Med nokon ting.

Inga meining med eit einaste ord.

Ord er som sommaren i fjor,

sola då varmar vel ikkje deg no.

Ho brann då ho, i fjor.

Og det er ikke no.

Ikkje eit einaste ord er no.

Dei er berre minner i gamle brev frå han til ho.

Dei var i går dei.

No er dei  berre ein gamal draum,

som ei bukse utan saum.

(Pracheeta)

Hver gang han omfavner

Mitt hav

Snakker vannet. Og regnet

Renner

Opp.

Under snøen

Våkner

Tryggheten

I morgen finnes

Oss

I fjor var alt utenfor vinduet

Nå venter jeg ikke mer

(Veena)

Leena is an author and meditation teacher. She will have course in writing & meditation at Dharma Mountain 26.-27. September 2015.

Why I Love Sitting Meditation

I’m sitting down, eyes closed and relaxed

I’m firmly seated

Feeling my breath

Thoughts come flowing

I let them flow

Feeling my breath

It’s calm

My eyes are so relaxed

Don’t need them now

Everything is so calm

Feeling my breath

Feeling the energy throughout my entire body

Turning inwards

Slowly

Towards my centre. My heart.

My giant, soft heart. Me.

Where there is room for everything.

Where everything may grow and blossom.

Feeling exactly this feeling

Feeling my breath

Feeling the energy

Feeling me, all of me.

Where I can be me. Where I can heal myself

My heart and me.

Feelings, energies, thoughts or memories may show up.

Some good

Some bad

It doesen’t matter

And there may not be room for healing all at once

But it is the best place to start.

Feeling my breath

Feeling my heart.

Hamid lives in Tønsberg, and in Hedalen every now & then, both in Norway! He likes to arrange and make things happen around him. But sometimes, he enjoys doing absolutely nothing, while eating chocolate!

For years a small and highly enthusiastic group of friends with a special interest for earth organisms and growing processes have been working on a garden compost system at the end of the parking lot at Dharma Mountain.

This group is very happy to share the secret behind why so many flowers, veggies and herbs manage to grow, thrive, boost, stay strong and resistant throughout the rough summer season here in our beautiful and exotic Dharma Mountain garden!

Vibhoda Holten, the spokes person of the composting team, starts sharing why its sooo good to do composting;

First of all, if you are a simple meditator working on finding the right balance in life, composting is also about finding the right balance …- in the compost!

– How can we get the right balance in the compost?

The compost is like an organism, and needs to be treated as such, because it is something living. When you set up and attend your compost, you need to find and keep the right balance between the elements of water, air and soil, like most other living creations on this planet, this makes the content of the compost.

Outdoor compost piles at Dharma. Every year several piles are made.

 – But then… what to do if your pile of compost has gone astray…?

If a composting process goes right it doesn´t smell much. After a while you can smell how your compost is doing. In fact, it should never smell bad, and for a compost lover it has an earthy pleasant smell when the process is in balance.

 If your compost turns too wet, it will start to smell bad due to lack of oxygen. The best way of correcting this is to turn the compost and add more woodchips or sawdust to bring it back into balance.

The material high in fibers has more structure and will make the compost more loose, air will more easily come in and the microorganisms in the compost will get sufficient energy. But if it goes too loose it means its too much air in it and you can add some nutrient-rich material like kitchen waste or fresh grass.

If it goes too compact it’s a sign that its too little air in it and it will start to smell badly… then you need to find your pitch fork and turn it around and bring in some fresh air! If it reaches a too high temperature it will start to “burn”. This can happen in the beginning of the composting process. You can reduce the temperature by turning the compost with a pitch fork. 

Vibhoda attending Dharma Mountain kitchen compost bin.

 – Where can you use the compost?

When the compost is mature – you can use it on anything that grows, like grass, flowers, vegetables, berry bushes or any kind of bushes. The best time to apply it is in May because the release of nutrients from the compost takes some time.

 – So why is it soooo good?

Composting is a practical way of healing the soil, the earth we are living on. You add nutrients, micro organisms and organic matter to the soil. You create humus in the compost, a complex organic matter, that, added to the soil, the soil will retain moisture much better, so it doesnt dry out and keeps the nutrients much better. By improving the soil, you improve anything growing from the soil.

Basically you use your own waste to build up the fertility in your own place!

And compost is something which is not possible in nature, it doesn´t happen in nature, only man can do it, but you work with nature by doing it. It can be your contribution to nature.

Should we believe Vibhoda, attending compost is also a great meditation.

Healthy flowers grow in abundance fed with high quality compost.

HERE FOLLOWS A GOOD RECIPE OF MIXTURES TO ALLOW A COMPOSTING PROCESS: 

• One third bulky material with a rich structure (chopped branches and tree bark, dead leaves and grass, bulky material separated from previous composts etc.)
• One third medium to fine material (straw, leaves, crop residues etc.)
• One third fine highly nutritious material, (household wastes, fresh grass etc.)
• 5 to 10 % soil.

Make repeated layers of the different mixtures until you have used all your material. A good pile of compost can be 1- 1 ½ m long and 1 – 1 1/2 meter high.

When a compost pile is prepared well, the temperature will increase, reaching 50-60 degrees after a few days. The process is rapid in the beginning, with high temperature, which will slowly decrease as the composting is proceeding and the compost maturing. In the beginning it is highly recommended to turn the compost once every week in order to get air into it and keep the quality of the compost high. Also, a few weeks before you start using it its good to turn it.

Your compost pile should stay there until you see its been broken down and you can no longer see the particles. The outdoor composting normally takes 2-3 months, depending on the materials and the process.

NB: don’t get surprised if your compost is shrinking, naturally the compost will diminish by almost 50%.

VIBHODA’s 5 HOT TIPS ABOUT COMPOSTING:

• Get started during summer season, or just start when you have enough material!
• Composting is the best exercise; and you get outdoor fresh air in a smell good environment.
• You learn to use and it sharpens your senses because its a bit of science and a bit of an art, and you need to be sensitive to what you see and smell and feel.
• Attending compost is also a great meditation.
• And last but not least – its just very facinating!

Nandika works in the administration at Dharma Mountain. She loves writing and paper cutting. 

A men’s group has been established at Dharma Mountain. Raahi and Sumeru, two male sannyasins, have been interviewed about masculinity and what it is like to be a man.

The aim of creating this men’s group was to provide a space where men can share openly about all things manly in a trusting atmosphere. The background was the realization among several men in the community around Dharma Mountain that there was a need for such a space to be created. In December 2014 this gathering of brothers had its first meeting. Since then the men´s group has been happening on a weekly basis.

My own impression is that the men’s group provides this both open and trustful space, as well as providing a challenge. As a man you should grow in your manhood and that is best done when you are challenged to live on your edge, when you come out of your comfort zone. In a men´s group this can be done in a supportive and loving manner.

To get more feedback about what masculinity and manhood is, I talked with two of the friends in the men´s group; Sumeru and Raahi.

What is masculinity for you?
Sumeru: For me it is a powerful feeling of being present, and truthful about how I feel, even if there is fear and pain inside. For me the lack of masculinity is the most painful feeling, which is when I lose this centre.

Raahi: Being in a men’s group is trying to discover what it is to be a man. I feel I have a lot of negative images and conditioning about masculinity. I didn’t have good male role models when I grew up. So in a way I turned my back to masculinity because of my ideas about what it was be a man. But when I do feel like a man I can feel this power. It is a challenge to embrace this power, because in a way I am afraid of my own power. So for me this men’s group is a safe place to explore this power where I really can go into it.

When I wrote my sannyas application I wrote that I wanted truth. And the name “Raahi” which Swaha gave me means “traveller in search of truth”.

Could you give an example of when you were truthful?
Raahi: The best example of being truthful was in the break-up of my last relationship. It was very hard to stand up for that truth, but I had to.

Sumeru: Being truthful is about accepting your own pain.

When Raahi today told about commitment, it is true. If you really want to create and share difficult things, the trust has to be there.

The men’s group is a place to share difficult things which I need to express. It is also a place to take risks.

Are you willing to take risks?
Sumeru: Yes!

Raahi: I agree with Sumeru´s view. I really want the truth. I have to stand up for what I feel. I want to feel my power. I will get fucking mad if I feel this wishy-washiness from another man. Even in this group, a few men here are not sharing much. I am here to feel real. If I don’t feel they are real I am not able to get to know them. If I say anything in the men’s group you don’t agree with, I will welcome your feedback.

What is really important?
Raahi: To really risk, to be challenged. When you have this safe group of men, you can do that.

Is challenge a key to being a man?
Yes, living outside the comfort zone. That is living on the edge.

Thank you, Raahi and Sumeru, for your sharings about masculinity and men´s group.

Before ending this blog, I´d like to quote the Indian mystic Osho on the difference between man and woman. Osho once said something like this: “Man is the Love of Truth and woman is the Truth of Love.”

So, let us all grow in truth and love.

Vibhoda lives in Hedalen, Norway. He is an agriculture guy, among other things, and loves eating and growing organic strawberries. 

Deva Dasha lives in Norway in a patch of mystical mountains populated with nature spirits, dwarves and moose. Her interests include smelling, laughing, loving and being sensitive with an open heart. She wishes peace to all beings in the universe.

by Sana

To talk about love is definitely not an easy task. But I’ll dare to share something that I’ve been experiencing and reflecting about.

Isn’t love something everyone is longing for? To find the perfect lover, to share beautiful moments together, to grow together in intimacy, to be partners in life, to love and feel loved by someone…

When we have a look around, all the love songs, all the romantic movies, the soap operas and romances, and those around us seem always to be hinting in one way or another that we can only be happy and satisfied if we are lucky enough to meet the guy or the woman of our dreams! Of course it is much easier to walk around dreaming about a romantic love affair, that we are going to find our prince around the corner, the perfect one to fulfill our dreams and needs. But it’s seems it is not that easy!

There are so many hidden reasons that drive us into this pull that in a way put all human beings together in the same boat! Everybody, in one way or another, is longing for love. But do we dare to inquire deeply into what that really means? What are we really longing for? There must be something missing, some link missing that makes love so difficult to find, to live what we are all longing for the most.

If we have a deeper look into it, maybe our focus has been wrong. Maybe we are looking in the wrong direction. But are we courageous enough to realize that?

On the other hand, if we are lucky to have a longing to go deeper in to the mystery of life, and if we have the courage to start looking into ourselves, suddenly magic starts to happen. When we start to drive our life energy back to our own hearts, with an interest to know ourselves, to dive into the mystery that we are, a different kind of fulfillment, of contentment starts to happen.. When we learn how to take full responsibility for our lives, and also for our needs, learning to take care of ourselves, slowly a new overflowing of love starts to spread from within, like a sweet warm cloud surrounding and pervading us… life reveals itself as pure love, and then every form, every person we meet, every breath is an expression of this pure innocent love. We suddenly start to be in wonder with the miracle that we are!

This definitely does not mean that we don’t want to meet anyone else, that we are enough in ourselves. On the contrary, maybe more then ever we are ready to meet other heart, we are ready to share, to overflow and expand this warmth of love. But then it’s not anymore out of a need, it’s not a begging; it’s not to find someone not to feel our wounds and to be fulfilled by his/her love. It is more about sharing, an exchange, a melting of two mysteries becoming one bigger mystery. But for this to really happen, we have to be fulfilled ourselves. And also this does not mean that the other will be there, ready, waiting for us.

Just by going deeper in ourselves an understanding can come that nothing is in our hands. We didn’t do anything to be here, it just happened. As the miracle of life, love is a miracle, and it can only happen by grace. It’s not a doing, it’s not a need, it is not an achievement. Life itself is the only one who can create the possibility of this sacred meeting. In this way there is nothing to do, nothing to achieve, it’s just to be available for life itself, the way it wants to manifest through us.

My Master said: “When you realize that God itself had designed you, you relax”. To realize this obvious, simple truth that “I am the miracle of life” is in itself so fulfilling, so loving and magical that nothing else can fool you anymore. It’s not anybody else who can fulfill you; it’s the understanding that life itself, God itself is being lived by you. That is the ultimate contentment.

Blessed are the ones who are on the path to live this true, being in love with life itself!

Sana is a devotee of Vasant Swaha, enjoying and exploring the way back to her true nature. She loves to share herself through Integration Craniossacral sessions and workshops of meditations. Living closer to nature is her biggest joy.

Interview with Dakini and Sadhna by Anurati

Music that opens a deeper space inside of me is something very precious. It is like my whole body receives it, like a wave of energy outside and inside… Two of my friends, Dakini and Sadhna have the gift to make this kind of songs. I asked them how these songs are made.

“For me it feels like the song somehow already is there.”

says Sadhna –

“It is just knocking on the door at one point and then it comes.
The way it unfolds can be different each time, sometimes the whole song will come, other times gradually unfolding – like just only as a melody and other time as a poem.”

“Yes it is similar to me.”

Dakini continues –

“The song just comes to me. Like the heart just wants to express itself and suddenly I can start to sing a melody or some words, a poem. It’s not like I am trying to make a song, it is just happening by itself. I love this way of sharing the space of the heart, this silence, this wisdom, through singing, through music. When I am playing my songs, if it is at home or performing for others, I always feel that they connect me deeper to my heart. I always get very happy and silent. The songs are like a reminder for me.”

Sadhna’s eyes are shining with tears when she shares about one of her songs:

“When the song “White Swan” came to me, it was like my heart was speaking to me in a way I could understand, but yet I could not understand it. The words came and I got the feeling that something was unfolding, but I didn’t know what it was – but somehow it was a clue to it. Two months later when I met my Master I understood what my heart wanted to share. When I found him, through what he showed me and what I experienced in the first retreat with him – this gave me so much beauty, inspiration and gratitude so then I could finish the song. For me – this song is a mystery – it is an expression of gratitude and longing, of the journey revealing itself, like my heart talked to me through the music – it was magical to experience this.” 

They also like to sing mantras together. But what is mantra, Dakini?

“For me mantras are love songs from the heart to the heart. It is prayers and praises to our divine nature, or heart or spirit. And to all the enlightened masters that have been helping us, enlightening us, giving us strength and courage for so long.The mantras are designed to help us go deeper in to our being by their words and sound vibration. I always loved singing mantras from the first time I heard them, they were filling me with their beautiful energy. In the beginning I didn’t know their meaning, I could just feel it. But to know their meaning makes them touch me even deeper because it is so beautiful. There are lots of science to mantras, but I’m not an expert in that – for me it doesn’t matter how many times they are repeated, it is more to touch this heart space inside and express this love through singing.”

Dakini closes her eyes and smiles, it feels like she gets into that space just by sharing about it.

Sadhna smiles to her and says;

“Yes that is why it is so beautiful to sing together, when we sink into that space of nothingness and feel that we are one – then it is just pure joy. Sometimes it is good to have an excuse to be together and then through singing it is easy to be who we are and just feeling the joy of life together.”

The time has to come to take some photos to their event in Bergen next week – and I ask them to sing while I shoot – and it doesn’t take long time until they both are totally in tune with their beautiful voices, sharing the vibration of their hearts. What comes from the heart, goes to the heart someone said – and I totally agree.

Listen to Dakini here.
Listen to “Hvite Svane” (White Swan) with Sadhna here.

Anurati works in the administration at Dharma Mountain. She loves to dance, listening to birds and be in the flow and  joy of creativity. 

I was listening to a successful designer speak brilliantly about how perfectionism used to hold her back, and I saw more clearly how I’ve been afflicted with it, too. I wanted to face my pefectionism and get past it. Drawing this comic, my focus was to complete it so I could share what I wanted to say, ignoring all my mind’s judgments along the way.

“Disappear” came forth because I’ve struggled with not being able to be myself when others are around. My Master Swaha points me to a space where all struggles end.

Deva Dasha lives in Norway in a patch of mystical mountains populated with nature spirits, dwarves and moose. Her interests include smelling, laughing, loving and being sensitive with an open heart. She wishes peace to all beings in the universe.

A few years ago I went home to be with my father who was dying of cancer. I took with me some quinoa and miso in the hope of introducing him to some more healthy options.

My dad had been an agriculture engineer and spent most of his life giving advice on how to grow plants, how to grow life.

I cooked for him what at the time was the only healthy dish I knew, quinoa and vegetables. He refused, saying he had never eaten it before and he didn’t want to try it now.

And my big shock was watching him eating Oreos biscuits in the hope it would increase his weight. I will never forget the image of him sitting, looking very fragile eating those biscuits. It shook me deeply.

I grew up in the south of Brasil where meat is the number one food. The women in my family couldn’t even think about how to cook without meat. My breakfast was black coffee, bread and butter. So I grew up and older not really putting much attention into what I was eating or how my body was reacting to it.

I I filled myself with meat, sugars, bread, coke and cigarettes.

I started to look into vegetarian, vegan and raw food, but it all looked too much, too complicated, too late for me to learn about.

So I keep pumping more and more junk into my body.

For me, the wind started to change after one of the sessions in our meditation retreat*. I remember coming out after the session to a beautiful meal and all I could eat was salad. It was natural. My body was asking for live food. My mind tried to argue and say “but you paid for lunch and there are so many nice dishes”. But my body didn’t even question. So salad it was.

When I heard there was going to be a detox group at Dharma Mountain, I knew I had to join. I thought I would starve and suffer the whole weekend. I wasn’t sure my body was going to cope. And so many old voices jumped in from a life of mis-information.

It was such a surprise for me to see that I experienced no hunger during the three days of fasting and I finished the group with much more energy than I had when I arrived.

It feels like my system has been rebooted. I don’t crave bread or pasta or cakes, but I get excited discovering new dishes and flavors.

And slowly my body feels better and better. And all happening without effort and suffering. It feels like magic.

Still smoking though, but I am sure very soon that will fade away.

Chanda

*the meditation retreats happening in Dharma Mountain and in Mevlana Garden.

Working at Mística Pizza was the best job I ever had.

It wasn’t so easy to tell this to my father, who wanted me to have a high-paying job and build up my career – what! work in a pizza place?? That’s like the bottom rung of the ladder.

But Mística Pizza isn’t “a pizza place.” It’s a tastefully decorated, cozy pizza restaurant with really flavorful, colorful pizza served by a group of meditators with so much joy and playfulness.

They know how to make good pizza. But more than that, they know how to have fun.

Most of the time that I was working, I was dancing. Or laughing. Or singing. I guess combine meditation with Brazilian culture in the workplace and you get a smooth-running business with a lot of heart.

I think because we were “working on ourselves” – aka meditating – we had more awareness to avoid accidents, interpersonal drama, competition – things that I’ve encountered in other jobs. And we worked really efficiently too, though it never felt like we were in a hurry…

My definition of a dream job is a job where I work harmoniously in a team and have tons of fun while creating and sharing something beautiful with others.

It doesn’t matter so much what I do, it’s the love and awareness behind it that is precious. Working from the heart transforms anything we do into an act of devotion and celebration. We are serving and celebrating love itself.

Deva Dasha

So here it is again.
As sure as the King of Autumn arrives,
his companion also follows him.
I can do nothing other than welcome them both.
I can’t take the one without the other;
it is two sides of the same coin.
It is the law of nature – that night follows day.
And nature is in me;
I have forgotten about it on my way,
but starting to remember again, slowly.

In the darkness
I only come closer to myself.
The night only reminds me about
what I do not remember during the day.
There is nothing wrong with that.

This friend may be the one
I need to know most of all.
It is this friend that can teach me about myself,
who I really am.
And that is what he is – a friend.
Not an enemy, which I sometimes so easily can feel.
Just a friend who wants to show me who I am,
not who I think I am.
A true friend, a real friend.
Yes, he only mirrors everything
that has not been allowed to be seen,
he only mirrors what was not allowed
to come out into the light.
A true friend shows me everything.

It is like I am reborn in myself,
it is like I become a mother to myself
over and over again.
And again and again
it is like I look myself in the eyes
for the very first time.

Pracheeta

“Since then, at an uncertain hour,
That agony returns:
And till my ghastly tale is told,
This heart within me burns.”
Samuel Taylor Coleridge: The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

I get such a strong reaction to the line:
“And till my ghastly tale is told, this heart within me burns.”

This line moves me intensely, and scares me even more.
I don’t want to be the one who always has this ghastly tale to be told. Just to do this, to expose myself like this, scares me shitless!

Why should I tell my ghastly tale? I have started on so many other stories, but this one seems to claim its right to go first.

I am so full of contradictions. I certainly don’t understand me, so how could anyone else do?

I was always amongst the “popular” ones as I grew up. Yet always standing on the outside, never fitting in fully.

I pretended a lot to seem “normal” amongst my peers. Haha, I ended up as a rebellious, self ironic and sarcastic youngster!

I used to discuss passionately about what mattered to me like caring for animals and our earth. Seeing the human and not the attachments around the human.

Unfairness, love, religion and devotion engaged me. I lost my so-called friends in the end over it.

I was hardly ever single, but never quite found the right one. I kept searching, got pickier, learned to be on my one. Then I found the one, and he found me. The perfect match still wasn’t enough though.

My nearest didn’t really see me and I turned to nature and animals for comfort and reassurance from an early age.

My loving grandparents took me out in the nature, and I laid down in the moss and sank into it. Disappearing, not knowing were the ground started and I ended.

How tempting it was to just stay there until the moss covered me, gently and softly.

I have this place filled with peace, love and compassion. But sometimes nightmares woke me up leaving me with a heavy black hole. Like chewing gum that is about to dissolve in your mouth.  I still have those nightmares.

To me it’s more a feeling of standing on the outside, all the time, as if I don’t manage to include myself.

Fearing it’s the others not managing to include me as I am too… something.

Maybe like a crow in the fog. There, but a bit strange.

Best to keep some distance.

I have so much affection, devotion, love and caring compassion within me. And I don’t even seem to show it to myself.

So how can anyone else see it?

You know, I don’t want to be the professional struggler like Baba so correctly called me! Always taking the hardest route, finding the greatest drama, ending up in situations I could do without. I had to laugh when he said that, as it rang so true to my ears. And at the same time my heart howls for the same reason!

Its like a deep void of emptiness that just wants to be filled.

Baba even told me once what to do, and I didn’t realize the importance of it. What a huge mistake to make.

Some people tell me: ”Oh, but you are so strong, you can handle this!”
Then expect me to handle this, that and the other regardless.
No one seems to see that I just feel like breaking down. Wanting to melt into a foetus position and be helpless, but taken care of.

I always get up though. Always grind my teeth and get on.

Do you recognize this vulnerability? Or is it just me? I really don’t know sometimes. Am I totally out of place? Or is there anyone else out there feeling so small, so insignificant and so pointless? And yet with so many longings and needs, expectations and dreams.

It seems like I have to start telling my ghastly tale, to still my heart and soothe it.

Maybe then I will stop being a professional struggler and be stronger in spirit and find my purpose in life.

My path is LOVE. I know that. I have always known that. I need to really listen to my heart and act from the heart. Trust my own inner wisdom.

Thank God I have found Baba to remind me, support me and help me stay strong in spirit.

I am forever grateful beyond words for that.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You Baba.

Love always, Junna

Where is the line between sensuality and sexuality? At what point is physical intimacy considered “sexual”?

In the sangha, I may find myself immersed in a 10-minute long hug with someone where we melt into each other, becoming one, time disappearing, the stars whirling around in celebration of the moment. We may look into each other’s eyes softly for a while, or inch our hands across the skin of each other’s arms or faces. We can laugh and cry together, be silly and be vulnerable.

Sometimes I worry: what if, while hugging someone, I suddenly feel sexual – for whatever reason or no reason at all? Really, my whole body is full of sensuality – sensitive and alive – can I let my energy run free?

Yes, yes I can. And that’s the only way to go.

I’ve been struggling with my labels and distinctions. Sensual, sexual, sensitive, open, cosmic or personal, bla bla bla. Do I have to analyze everything?

And in my experience, if I’m hung up about something, anything, it will resurface and bug me. But if I’m accepting and at ease with it, then it’s just, well, natural.

The let-go has to be total, mind you; it can’t just be an idea that I “should” be relaxed. Any fear or worry and my body responds with tensions, my emotions are stirred, and I’m back in a cycle uneasiness and over-thinking things.

I’m afraid that my energy could start to feel invasive for someone else.

If that’s the case, then “I” am not really melting, am I? I might be hugging someone while my mind is taking me from the present, worrying and analyzing.

There was a case where there was sexual tension between me and a friend, anytime we were in the same room. But we could both be very honest and accepting of it, and the tension quickly became “nothing special”. Now I mostly feel this big love and friendship with this person. And when we exchange a hug, it is unique – it’s both relaxing and electric – as I can rest into it so deeply and leave my mind behind.

Think less, hug more.

Deva Dasha

All photos: Raahi

…is the name of a book I bought more than ten years ago, in big bookstore in the downtown of Oslo. This title drew my attention, the simple beautiful photos, the simple way of living. Could that also be me? Today this title came to my mind.
 
Now I live most of the year in the countryside, my life is much more simple – but I see that it is really an art, because every time an empty space opens, I fill it. What I fill it with has changed a lot since I bought the book. But still the habit of filling is there.
 
Just now, this evening I turned down my sweet neighbours’ invitation to join them for a fun game night, but I felt my body needed to rest. After ten minutes laying down on my sofa, listening to a quiet song, I open my eyes and look at a plant and see how it stretches itself towards the light of the sunset. I jump up, grab the camera, I want to save it.

For what? Wasn’t I supposed to rest? The “rest” is over for sure. Was I getting closer to an empty space in my rest and in that space I automatically fill it? Is it really so clear? I start writing.
 
The art…
I lay down again and try again. Thoughts from what happened today, not so much words, but images of people, of eyes, of smiles, of actions. Then thoughts about tomorrow come. Then after a while I am only watching the breath and then a change in the breathing rhythm happens. It goes deeper, slower. I hear only the music and imagine the whole body is listening to the music. Images come and go, but less thoughts. Feelings come to the surface, one so strong that tears come to my eyes. Love. I’m feeling the energy that moves inside my body. I go deeper.
 
Then; something stops. I realize when doing nothing – the being appears. And what a feeling, what an absolute luxury of all luxuries to just rest in myself, how can nothing feel so good? I feel like laughing about all doing when doing nothing excels it all!
 

…

The next day the woman next door who is packing to leave the valley for the season, knocks on the door, “Hi, I found your book, I borrowed it from your flat in Oslo a long time ago – you want it or shall I bring it back to your flat?” I take the book and feel life is really aligned sometimes or maybe it always is, we just don’t notice it?

Anurati 

I  sat peacefully and listened to my Master. Suddenly I felt a new energy inside.

Such powerful energy.

Wow. I liked it. The power said:

“Do not hide anymore! Stand up for yourself!”.

It was so clear that I wanted to change my legal name to my sannyas name.

The energy was so strong, it felt so good, so right. It was just to act on it. There were no doubts, no thoughts, and no question. Go for it!

A delicious flow to just follow. I felt strong. The energy was very welcoming.

The day had come. I felt so excited. It will happen today. A friend was with me and she was so happy for me that I dared to follow my heart. We laughed, some tears of gratitude came and we shared our happiness. We were off to many government offices to undertake the practicalities around this official change.  First, I got a new driving license. Next step was to visit the police station. I felt some nervous energy inside. Will she say something? Will she comment on this?

I walked slowly in, gave her my paper. She studied the paper and looked at me and said: “What a beautiful name you have got”.

I was so surprised. A humility appeared and out of me came a very grateful, “Thank you”.

I got a new passport. Only one thing was left. To visit the bank. Also here I met a beautiful lady. She took a picture of me and gave a nice comment about how beautiful the picture was. “I will send you a new bankcard in few days” she said.

I danced out of the building.

I was so happy and satisfied. My name is Aishani.

Aishani

This morning I felt religious.
I came back to Dharma Mountain two days ago, after two weeks away, and I went in for the morning meditation. I was amazed to find people still doing Dynamic meditation every morning, the whole room full of people, going on for the 24th day. What is going on here? I went away to have summer vacation with my kids, in the small house we live in in the south coast.

When I left Dharma I had joined nine days of Dynamic, and I was determined to go on with the 21 days – no matter how many teenagers and visitors and god-knows-who were coming to our house. I did it. 21 days. And this is what I learned from it:

1. Not even Dynamic can wake up a teenager at 7 in the morning.
There are several advantages of not having small children, the morning hours to myself is one of them. They are still not aware I did this meditation for 12 days. But also with other people around, friends and neighbors, I found I don’t have to be alone in the house to do Dynamic. I did catharsis in silence – but the music was on and the “Hoo!” were with sound.

2. Dynamic can be done everywhere
When people are sleeping everywhere else in the house, why skip Dynamic? The toilet room was still available. It is small, narrow and with a low ceiling, so I had to adjust, yes. But in this room I discovered that totality has nothing to do with outer circumstances.

3. Dynamic is a way to survive family holidays
Before I used to think it would be impossible to do Dynamic in the middle of my family life. Now, I start to think it will be impossible to have family holidays WITHOUT it. All the frustration, irritation and old patterns that would come up and gather during the vacation, and was bound to come out somewhere, got an outlet. My patience with kids have never been greater. Wow.

But this morning, I felt religious. I came into the Satsang room and saw all the people, even after completing the 21 days, was still going on, ready and eager. The energy was determined, inspiring. In the jumping phase, I felt so free and playful. These words came to me, “I am free.” And not only me, all of us. It was like we all were jumping and our energy was lifting an old, dusty blanket of confusion, resignation and giving in, we were lifting it. It was disappearing like fog in the sun. And I was in awe, for this, that this is happening, here, now. We are free. Hallelujah!

Leena

* Dynamic meditation is an 1 hour meditation created by Osho –  it is a fast, intense and thorough way to break old, ingrained patterns in the bodymind that keep one imprisoned in the past, and to experience the freedom, the witnessing, silence and peace that are hidden behind these prison walls. Regarding to the process of 21 days Dynamic Meditation, Osho says: “It takes at least seves days to settle, then another seven days to feel the new dimension, then another seven to be completely at home.”